I am done with all the work I have to do before Spring break! I took a couple midterms, and turned in a paper that I've been working on for a few weeks that is a month over due. Niiice. Now I can go home and relax for a bit...
I must confess, however, that the paper makes me a little nervous. Even though I just wrote the thing in the last few weeks, I've been thinking about it and planning it for like six months. It sort of feels like a child that I have raised and nurtured. Now I've sent it off into the world, and I am terrified out of my mind that it will get beat up and made fun of, much like I was in kindergarten. But there's not much I can do about it now.
I'm also in a good mood because I found out today that Aus got into the Secret Service. It's been his dream job since long before I knew him. It's cool to see dreams come to realization. I wonder how often that happens. Not a lot. I think most of us lack the courage to really pursue our dreams in earnest. Others have forgotten what it means to have a dream, and just settle for whatever is easy.
I don't want to be like that.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
in which Tim thinks about love, true love...
Disclaimer: If you are reading this, and happen to have dated me in the past, fear not. It is not about you. The person it refers to has long since disappeared, and probably doesn't even know that I keep a blog.
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I like to think of myself as a rational person. I don't usually tend to believe things unless I see or experience pretty good reason to. This is why the notion of true love (princess bride style) is a little bit mysterious to me. I've not experienced it (I would know, right?). Yet I can't be one of these skeptics that refuses to believe that the fruit is sweet just because he hasn't tasted it. How can I not believe in a motif that dominates the arts and defines cultures around the world? This force that draws two people into each others lives is described everywhere. It has to be real.
Assuming it is, I wonder how many of us are destined for it. I'd like to think everyone, but it can't be true. There are an awful lot of us who end up in relationships that are either shallow, temporary or both. Granted, a lot of it has to do with the decisions we make and why we choose to pursue the things that we do. But I think with patience and courage we all at least have the potential to seek out that deep, passionate and inexplicable kind of relationship.
But how many chances do we get at it? I feel like I had a shot at it a few years ago. There was a spark that I've never known before. A glimmer of what the bard writes about. But it slipped away. Maybe I was too afraid, or maybe she was. Maybe the circumstances were wrong. Or maybe I was wrong about it all, and now I'm just living with a brain full of manufactured memories.
And sometimes, late at night, fear likes to worm it's way into my head and gnaw away at my thoughts. Was the spark real? Why did it go away? Will I ever get to experience it again?
It is the past, she is gone, and I am powerless to answer these questions.
Thankfully I serve a God who is not. And even if it was all just a dream, I am thankful that he allowed me to experience it. It gives me reason to believe that this thing called love is indeed real.
Even if I never get to experience that depth of passion, it is good to know that it's there. It makes the world a brighter place. And I feel blessed to at least have experienced a glimmer of it.
----
I like to think of myself as a rational person. I don't usually tend to believe things unless I see or experience pretty good reason to. This is why the notion of true love (princess bride style) is a little bit mysterious to me. I've not experienced it (I would know, right?). Yet I can't be one of these skeptics that refuses to believe that the fruit is sweet just because he hasn't tasted it. How can I not believe in a motif that dominates the arts and defines cultures around the world? This force that draws two people into each others lives is described everywhere. It has to be real.
Assuming it is, I wonder how many of us are destined for it. I'd like to think everyone, but it can't be true. There are an awful lot of us who end up in relationships that are either shallow, temporary or both. Granted, a lot of it has to do with the decisions we make and why we choose to pursue the things that we do. But I think with patience and courage we all at least have the potential to seek out that deep, passionate and inexplicable kind of relationship.
But how many chances do we get at it? I feel like I had a shot at it a few years ago. There was a spark that I've never known before. A glimmer of what the bard writes about. But it slipped away. Maybe I was too afraid, or maybe she was. Maybe the circumstances were wrong. Or maybe I was wrong about it all, and now I'm just living with a brain full of manufactured memories.
And sometimes, late at night, fear likes to worm it's way into my head and gnaw away at my thoughts. Was the spark real? Why did it go away? Will I ever get to experience it again?
It is the past, she is gone, and I am powerless to answer these questions.
Thankfully I serve a God who is not. And even if it was all just a dream, I am thankful that he allowed me to experience it. It gives me reason to believe that this thing called love is indeed real.
Even if I never get to experience that depth of passion, it is good to know that it's there. It makes the world a brighter place. And I feel blessed to at least have experienced a glimmer of it.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Regarding rock and roll
I went to a newsboys concert tonight. It was tremendous fun, and a pleasant break from the grind of my final semester here. Considering that I have now seen this band in concert seven or eight times, there was a lot that was familiar, but still a good amount of material to fuel reflection.
Naturally, I knew all the songs and stage antics by heart, so I didn't get a lot from watching the band. Our seats, however, were sort of to the side and above the stage, so I was able to spend a lot of time watching the crowd. The age diversity at these shows always amazes me. Teenagers, parents, grandparents, younger kids. And everyone seems to enjoy it.
For example, tonight I noticed a little boy who couldn't have been any older than three. He spent the entire show running up and down between the front row of seats and the stage, running, dancing, playing in the piles of confetti that had gathered on the floor. He wasn't misbehaving, and he didn't come to any harm. How many rock shows do you think that could happen at? A small child enjoying the music in his own way, right along with teenagers and old people. I guess that's what the kingdom is about. We participate in worship together, all being fed despite differences in age, experience, tastes, etc.
Of course, the crowd WAS still predominantly white...
one step at a time, I guess.
---
Speaking of newsboys, I found this video on youtube. It'll make you laugh.
Naturally, I knew all the songs and stage antics by heart, so I didn't get a lot from watching the band. Our seats, however, were sort of to the side and above the stage, so I was able to spend a lot of time watching the crowd. The age diversity at these shows always amazes me. Teenagers, parents, grandparents, younger kids. And everyone seems to enjoy it.
For example, tonight I noticed a little boy who couldn't have been any older than three. He spent the entire show running up and down between the front row of seats and the stage, running, dancing, playing in the piles of confetti that had gathered on the floor. He wasn't misbehaving, and he didn't come to any harm. How many rock shows do you think that could happen at? A small child enjoying the music in his own way, right along with teenagers and old people. I guess that's what the kingdom is about. We participate in worship together, all being fed despite differences in age, experience, tastes, etc.
Of course, the crowd WAS still predominantly white...
one step at a time, I guess.
---
Speaking of newsboys, I found this video on youtube. It'll make you laugh.
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