Regarding the death of Benazir Bhutto

When I was a small child there was a large poster on the wall of our back hallway. It showed a much younger Benazir wearing a blue head scarf. It was probably a campaign poster given to my parents by some visitor or other from Pakistan. It would have been the late 1980's, when she stunned the world by becoming the first democratically elected head of a Muslim nation state. As a graduate of Oxford, and the daughter of one of Pakistan's most gifted politicians she certainly had the potential to lead her country in the direction of progress and modernity. Yet through out her career she was dogged by allegations of corruption, and hindered by the mistakes of unqualified advisers. She never lived up to her potential, and has spent the last decade in a self imposed exile.

Over the last few months she has returned to the news, awakening the best hopes of Pakistan and the world. We listened as she began to speak of leading in the direction of moderation, seeking to negotiate a political coalition with Pakistan's military leaders. We watched as she returned to the land of her birth, touching the ground and shedding tears of joy, and was then nearly killed by a suicide bomber who took the lives of nearly 200 supporters. In recent months she has campaigned tirelessly leading up to the January elections. She seemed to genuinely believe that Pakistan could pick itself up out of the quagmire of terror, corruption and instability that it has lived in for so long. Crowds came out in the thousands to hear her message, and her future as Prime Minister seemed secure.

This morning (evening in Pakistan), she was shot in the neck by an assassin who then detonated a bomb that was strapped to his chest. Benazir was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital. All across Pakistan people are beating their breasts and wailing in mourning for what has been lost.

Benazir was no angel. She had her faults, as politicians from every country always will, and I hesitate to claim that had she lived Pakistan would be out of the woods. The problems are far deeper than one Prime Minister could ever hope to mend. Yet the world begins to run short of leaders with the ability to inspire their people, causing them to believe that tomorrow really can be better. And democratic change does not happen without leaders who can fan the dream into flame. I have to admit that Benazir Bhutto had this ability, and I believe that the world should grieve her death. Like with Ahmed Shah Masoud and Rafik Hariri, we have lost a potentially great warrior in the epic quest to restore hope to a deeply troubled part of the world.

In which Tim might reveal some SPOILERS

If you are currently reading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" or intend to read it in the near future, and wish to avoid possible spoilers. Please read no further.

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What a book. I finished reading it 27 hours after the release. I am tired, but there was so much heart stopping adrenaline packed into those pages that I think I need to type for a few minutes before I can calm down enough to sleep. The book was action packed, and alternated radically between terror and humor, despair and joy. Over all, I do not think that Ms. Rowling could have ended the story in a better way. All of the loose ends were tied up, and all the major characters were in top form to bid the reader farewell.

I was intrigued (maybe because it's three in the morning...) by what I perceived to be elements of the gospel present in the way things were ultimately resolved. In the end, an innocent victim sacrificed himself for the good of those he loved. He had no hope of glory or reward aside from the knowledge that the people he cared most about might be safe. And that selflessness broke death's grip, causing things to work backwards. It's a lot like Aslan in "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe". Obviously it is not a perfect allegory in that Harry was far from a completely innocent and blameless victim. Still, there is a lot to be learned from this story about love, sacrifice, and temptation.

I mentioned earlier how good it was that so many characters were given time to bid the reader farewell. I think I need to correct myself. The great thing about stories like this is that it wasn't really a farewell. I can open these pages any time I like to spend some time with Harry, Ron and Hermione. It's the same magic that allows me to time after time travel with Sam and Frodo, sail with Caspian, or explore the Himalayas with Ash and Juli. The great stories never end, they just go back on the shelf for a while. Props to Rowling for winning an honored spot on that shelf.

regarding the New York Times being a spoil sport

So the NYT somehow got their hands on a copy of the new Potter book two days before the rest of us are allowed to see it, and for some strange reason they published a review. I will not include the link because I don't want to lead anyone into temptation. I have not read it, nor do I intend to. My sister and I both wrote angry letters. They are copied below.

(From Me)
I was extremely disappointed to learn of the review of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" published by the New York Times using an illegitimately acquired copy of the book. I have been a loyal reader of the Times for my entire adult life and have never been so apalled by an effort to get a story first. Millions of fans across the world have been waiting for many years to read this book. Some younger fans have been waiting over half their lives to see how Harry's story ends. I am befuddled as to why the Times is above waiting in line with everyone else to purchase a copy at the designated release time, and I am utterly mystified as to why they would publish a review that they know for a fact would go unread by the vast majority of people with any interest in the series. Over all this move was poorly thought out, badly timed, and inconsiderate of Ms. Rowling, Scholastic Publishing, and the vast community of Harry Potter fans. I believe that the Times owes an immediate apology to all of these parties.

Sincerely,

Timothy S. Brown
Madison, WI


(From Katrina)
To Whom it May Concern:

I heard the most absurd and far fetched bit of news today. Can you imagine what it might have been? Today I heard that the New York Times posted an early review and spoilers of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

I hope you are ashamed of yourselves. I hope that you feel ashamed deep down to the very bottom of your heart, and I hope it burns all the way through to the core of you.

I've been a New York Times subscription holder - I haven't missed a Sunday Times in a long, long time. I've put up with the criticism of my Republican friends, and you have been my first source for news of any kind.

That you would even CONSIDER posting spoilers, let alone actually doing it? I can't even believe it. My respect for you has been almost obliterated. You probably think that is ridiculous, and you probably think that is silly. I'm actually almost positive that you will think that is silly - how could you not, you apparently have no sense of respect, goodness or decency. You have shown that you do not take children seriously - and I feel bad for yours, if you happen to be a parent. You do not take humanity seriously. You probably don't take much seriously.

My biggest problem? We live in a pretty messed up world. You, of all people, should know this. You are faced with it every day. Something comes along that brightens it up a bit for a huge part of the population - child and adult - and you proceed to attempt to smother it out.

Good thing for us, with all the sadistic intentions that must have gone into the printing of that review, you have not succeeded. You stooped low enough to the level of attention seeking idiots on the internet, and you will no doubt, in many of our minds, go down in history in the same vein as them - spineless, gutless, cowards who don't deserve the time of day.

You are foolish. You have erased one more source with a voice that I thought I could trust. I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry that someone ruined your childhood to such a degree that you would feel the need to bring the rest of us down with you.

I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the lack of goodness and decency that remains in this world, and I'm sorry that you have to be the one to manifest it. I would have liked to keep reading your newspaper, and I would have liked to go on respecting you. I don't think I can, now, though.

Thank you for your time.

Katrina

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Just a day and a half!!

in which Tim laments the bureaucracy

The Peace Corps is full of stupid bureaucrats who seem to lack the imagination to answer questions comprehensibly. When this email dialog finishes, I will post it for your enjoyment.

Also, they are requiring that I shed my wisdom teeth. What fun!

in which Tim reports on his travels

Not the most interesting of travels (yet), but still exciting. I am presently sitting in a friends living room in Lansing after just having finished standing up for my friend Matt's wedding in Flint. Tomorrow I depart by car for DC to spend a few days as a tourist, and after that will return home by train. It's something of a whirl wind journey across America, and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

The wedding was fantastic. I have found that weddings can often be little more than ordeals that involve a lot of waiting around, making awkward conversation with people you don't know, and having to smile for pictures you will never see, all while wearing very uncomfortable clothes. This wedding included no shortage of waiting around, picture taking, or uncomfortable clothes (I am not sure that the tux I wore will be usable anymore after all the sweat I poured into it...), but it was all made bearable and even pleasurable by the warmth of the families and the presence of some of my best friends.

Now I should sleep. I am going to my old church tomorrow morning, which I am looking forward to. My web access will be sporadic over the next several days, so if you need to speak with me, hit up the cellephone. Peace out, and congratulations Matt and Libby. I anticipate that my friendship with you in your married life will be even more joyful than it was before (if that is possible).

in which Tim shares some news that you might not have heard

200 people died when a bomb went off in an Iraqi marketplace today. They were just people going shopping. A lot of them were probably kids, but CNN isn't showing me their pictures, or telling me their names, so I can't say for sure. They were just more of those nameless, faceless Iraqi people who we have given freedom to.

I don't want to minimize what happened at VA Tech. Death is death, and it's particularly horrible when the victims are so young, and it strikes so close to a context that we can identify with.

But why aren't we wearing ribbons for the people of Baghdad who died today? Why aren't we holding vigils, or looking for someone or something to blame?

I don't know.

regarding Virginia Tech

Right now CNN is reporting that 32 students have been killed by a gunman at Virginia Tech University. 29 more are wounded. Some were in their dorms, and most were sitting in class. They were probably checking their email, writing blogs, doing sudoku puzzles, or maybe even taking notes. They weren't in a war zone. They hadn't signed up to go into combat, or put their lives on the line. They were just kids going to school. A lot like me. I woke up in a dorm, and went to class today. In fact, I was sitting in a class room when I learned about these students being killed in class rooms. I wanted to vomit.

Now I am sitting in a lounge with the news switched on, watching students walk by in the hallway. Most are talking on cell phones or listening to their i-pods. Some stop to look at the tv screen. They express surprise at the death toll, and then turn away and keep walking. A few have wordlessly dropped into one of the chairs in front of the screen. They are overcome by their knowledge of a tragedy that speaks to some of the darkest deeds that humanity is capable of. These people know that in the face of such grim reality they can't just keep walking. And I am with them. I don't understand how to just go about my daily routine when things like this are happening.

The saddest part is that this not exactly a unique event when one takes a look around the world. How many young people have been killed in Iraq over the last several years? How many child soldiers are shooting at other kids in Africa? There is also the incredible violence and injustice that is seen in every element of the international sex trade. Humanity tells millions of stories in which countless people are killed or injured every day, in every corner of the world. No, Virginia Tech is not unique. But does that excuse apathy? Does the fact that humanity is utterly fallen, corrupt, and violent mean that it is morally excusable for me to unplug, and not feel grief?

I don't understand the people who just keep walking. We are so self centered. We believe that because the violence is on a different campus, or in a different country, that it won't touch us. A lot of Virginia Tech students probably had that mindset this morning, until the fallenness of humanity touched their lives in a particularly gruesome way.

We need to break our apathy. We need to be more sad about the state of our world. And we need to translate that sadness into love for those who face the harshest consequences of the way things are.

regarding Napoleon lookalikes

Not Bonaparte, but Dynamite. Seriously. I am sitting in the library right now and right across from me is a guy who looks creepily like Napoleon Dynamite. Crazy hair, glasses, tucked in t-shirt. I wish I had a camera so you could share the moment with me.

This is a silly blog entry.

But it's better than writing the paper that I am supposed to be writing. I'm sure it will be fine once I get started. I'm just ready to be done with papers for a little while, and walk across that stage.

I guess I need to enjoy it while I still can...in another few months I could have very different priorities. Like digging latrines and killing dinner. mmm

I have a Peace Corps interview on Monday. It's the second one. They got back to me really fast to set it up. I hope that's a good sign. We shall see.

in which Tim finishes

I am done with all the work I have to do before Spring break! I took a couple midterms, and turned in a paper that I've been working on for a few weeks that is a month over due. Niiice. Now I can go home and relax for a bit...

I must confess, however, that the paper makes me a little nervous. Even though I just wrote the thing in the last few weeks, I've been thinking about it and planning it for like six months. It sort of feels like a child that I have raised and nurtured. Now I've sent it off into the world, and I am terrified out of my mind that it will get beat up and made fun of, much like I was in kindergarten. But there's not much I can do about it now.

I'm also in a good mood because I found out today that Aus got into the Secret Service. It's been his dream job since long before I knew him. It's cool to see dreams come to realization. I wonder how often that happens. Not a lot. I think most of us lack the courage to really pursue our dreams in earnest. Others have forgotten what it means to have a dream, and just settle for whatever is easy.


I don't want to be like that.

regarding anger

WHY did Drew Neitzel have to get the flu RIGHT NOW???

It's just not fair.

in which Tim thinks about love, true love...

Disclaimer: If you are reading this, and happen to have dated me in the past, fear not. It is not about you. The person it refers to has long since disappeared, and probably doesn't even know that I keep a blog.

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I like to think of myself as a rational person. I don't usually tend to believe things unless I see or experience pretty good reason to. This is why the notion of true love (princess bride style) is a little bit mysterious to me. I've not experienced it (I would know, right?). Yet I can't be one of these skeptics that refuses to believe that the fruit is sweet just because he hasn't tasted it. How can I not believe in a motif that dominates the arts and defines cultures around the world? This force that draws two people into each others lives is described everywhere. It has to be real.

Assuming it is, I wonder how many of us are destined for it. I'd like to think everyone, but it can't be true. There are an awful lot of us who end up in relationships that are either shallow, temporary or both. Granted, a lot of it has to do with the decisions we make and why we choose to pursue the things that we do. But I think with patience and courage we all at least have the potential to seek out that deep, passionate and inexplicable kind of relationship.

But how many chances do we get at it? I feel like I had a shot at it a few years ago. There was a spark that I've never known before. A glimmer of what the bard writes about. But it slipped away. Maybe I was too afraid, or maybe she was. Maybe the circumstances were wrong. Or maybe I was wrong about it all, and now I'm just living with a brain full of manufactured memories.

And sometimes, late at night, fear likes to worm it's way into my head and gnaw away at my thoughts. Was the spark real? Why did it go away? Will I ever get to experience it again?

It is the past, she is gone, and I am powerless to answer these questions.

Thankfully I serve a God who is not. And even if it was all just a dream, I am thankful that he allowed me to experience it. It gives me reason to believe that this thing called love is indeed real.

Even if I never get to experience that depth of passion, it is good to know that it's there. It makes the world a brighter place. And I feel blessed to at least have experienced a glimmer of it.

Regarding rock and roll

I went to a newsboys concert tonight. It was tremendous fun, and a pleasant break from the grind of my final semester here. Considering that I have now seen this band in concert seven or eight times, there was a lot that was familiar, but still a good amount of material to fuel reflection.

Naturally, I knew all the songs and stage antics by heart, so I didn't get a lot from watching the band. Our seats, however, were sort of to the side and above the stage, so I was able to spend a lot of time watching the crowd. The age diversity at these shows always amazes me. Teenagers, parents, grandparents, younger kids. And everyone seems to enjoy it.

For example, tonight I noticed a little boy who couldn't have been any older than three. He spent the entire show running up and down between the front row of seats and the stage, running, dancing, playing in the piles of confetti that had gathered on the floor. He wasn't misbehaving, and he didn't come to any harm. How many rock shows do you think that could happen at? A small child enjoying the music in his own way, right along with teenagers and old people. I guess that's what the kingdom is about. We participate in worship together, all being fed despite differences in age, experience, tastes, etc.

Of course, the crowd WAS still predominantly white...

one step at a time, I guess.

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Speaking of newsboys, I found this video on youtube. It'll make you laugh.

in which Tim feverishly prepares to speak at large group

I think my outline is done. It's probably the trickiest talk I've ever written, mostly due to the large amount of ground I have to cover. Isaiah, Jesus, Bangladesh, Acid Victims, Porridge, Rickshaws and Egypt. It might be a stretch, but it's all there. I even managed to integrate some audience participation.

I might need to re work the part where I talk about Paul. I am not sure I like the flow. Perhaps talking about Isaiah, three gospels, and three of Paul's letters all in one talk was a bit ambitious. Eh. I will do a couple readings tonight, one tomorrow morning, and another right before the talk. Hopefully that will iron out the wrinkles.

This posting probably makes no sense to anyone who isn't me. But (God willing) it will all come together at 7:30 PM tomorrow in 107 Kedzie. Feel free to either come, pray for me, or both. All is appreciated!

I need to sleeeep.